“Keep pushing every day! DO NOT ever give up.” —Anon—
I was going to cancel my blog recently and then received a notification from Word Press that my annual fee had been charged. It was on “Auto Pay” which I forgot. They had sent me notices but I was not paying attention to my email messages. My fault!
So, here I am giving it another try.
I have an “alcohol substance abuse” issue. Is this the new term for “alcoholic”? I have been drinking wine just about every day for the past 20 years. There would be “moderation” at times but it didn’t stick. I was a “social” drinker at the beginning and it morphed into full-blown drink a bottle (or more) of wine a night. Every night! The longest time I ever quit completely was 57 days but I started right back up at a bottle a night again. I read all the quit books, “You Tube” posts, read blogs, blah, blah, blah……
On July 4, after a particularly heavy evening of “Chardonnay”, I said “enough” and have not had any since…not even a sip. Somehow it feels different this time. I feel fabulous for one thing. I can’t remember how I felt the last time but it must not have been so terrific because I started it again. The first few days were rough, it took about 9 days to get a solid 8 hour sleep but since then, no withdrawal symptoms and no cravings. I realize this may be the “pink cloud” but I intend to never drink again!
It has now been 58 days which is the longest I’ve been without alcohol in 20 years. It’s just the beginning and I know I will be tempted. The only goal I had when I stopped was to be alcohol free! It wasn’t about losing weight, exercise, eating right – nothing. Just stop the booze! My last blog post was December 31, 2018 and I wrote about being “healthy”. Total bull since I was still sucking down and numbing myself with wine every night. I realized my health depends on being free from alcohol. If I had not stopped, I feared I would soon be dead. The next milestone is 100 days. I will be tested with some “boozy” social function and my reserve will be tested. Staying strong!